I was with my ex for 3 years. We’re both queer and trans but I was not out as trans yet. He slowly cut me off from all of my friends, my family loved him so he was always around. I thought he was just passionate but the manic swings would get so extreme. we were happily living together one day and the next morning he was screaming at me about how I was no better than his transphobic and abusive parents, that violence was the only language I’d ever understand. He insisted on refusing to get treated or help, that I was all he needed to be a good person. Sometimes he said he knew he was manic and would beg me to stay, that I shouldn’t blame him for cheating on me and getting violent when he was mad because he never remembered it. Or he was fine and I was the one who messed up, the toxic thing, and would gaslight me into thinking I was the only one with mental health problems and would be better off dead. I stayed for so long thinking if I could just keep him out of mania and the guy I thought I knew we could be happy. That it wouldn’t continue. But you can’t help someone who refuses to accept it. His illness did not excuse the danger I was put in.  

– Anonymous